


Vacation

by Redbone135



Category: Borderlands (Video Games)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-22
Updated: 2019-12-22
Packaged: 2021-02-26 01:13:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,228
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21905008
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Redbone135/pseuds/Redbone135
Summary: Based off a tweet I saw this morning. Credit given in Notes. Brick and Mordy take a vacation, leaving Tina behind to take care of herself. Nothing goes as planned- obviously.
Relationships: Brick/Mordecai (Borderlands)
Comments: 6
Kudos: 42





	Vacation

**Author's Note:**

> Saw this prompt on @transbrick's twitter this morning and couldn't stop myself from writing it. I asked permission, but never got a response- so let me know if you see this and want me to take it down. Hopefully this is taken as the flattery it is intended to be, your tweets make me smile!
> 
> Also, sorry if it's super campy, it was raining today and I needed to write something fun.

“Mordecai,” Brick chided as he dragged his reluctant partner through the spaceport, “Tina is sixteen-years-old, I’m sure she’ll be fine!”

“Right, I know. I just think I forgot my-”

“Your book is in your bag, passport is in your pocket, and I prepaid with the resort so you don’t need to worry about your wallet. We’re not going back!”

The hunter huffed, letting his new husband drag him towards security, grumpily stepping into the scanner and placing his hands above his head. 

“I should probably just call, one more time, to make sure she remembers to feed Talon. Better yet, let’s just-”

“Mordecai,” Brick said, taking his partner's face in his hands and tilting his chin up into a quick kiss. “Relax. They’ll both be fine.”

Mordecai sighed, of course Brick was right. Brick was always right. It was just that they’d been through so much in the last couple years, lost so many that they cared for, that it was hard to not hold tightly to those that he loved. Sometimes a little too tightly. Sometimes he strangled them a bit. But Brick was right, this impromptu honeymoon was a good idea. It would be nice to sit back and relax for a bit, not worry about bounties or Tina’s teenage troubles. Just him and his husband and some free time to unwind. 

Free time to worry about Tina.

“Mordecai,” Brick warned, recognizing the look in his eye. “Give me your Echo Device.”

Reluctantly he handed over the little rectangle that held his entire life inside it. 

“Thank you,” Brick said, tucking it away in his back pocket. “Now, where do you want to eat while we wait for our flight?”

~

Tina wasn’t really sure what birds ate, but she was pretty sure spaghetti looked enough like worms that Talon wouldn’t object. Based on the way Talon was watching her from the top of the fridge, she was pretty sure the bird was just as excited as she was to eat her special spaghetti a-la-mode with a side of warm pizza dipped in chocolate sauce.

Mordecai had left clear instructions taped to the top of the pizza, as well as a few other freezer meals to last her until her dads returned, but she had thrown them away immediately along with the note taped to the stove that read “Tina, I’m not kidding, please use the microwave!”.

She sang to herself as she dug through the cabinets, knocking jars of spices and boxes of crackers onto the floor behind her. 

“It needs something spice-ay!” she mumbled, standing on her tippy toes to reach the top shelf where Brick kept his collection of hot sauces from each of the planets he’d taken a bounty on. Normally she wasn’t allowed to touch them, but when the big beefy cat is away, the tiny little bunny would have hot sauce. That was the saying, right?

She pressed her right hand on the counter, using it to launch herself at the top shelf and grabbing the bottle of “Dirty Digby’s Casino Special” in her left. Unfortunately, as her feet touched the ground she slipped on one of the spilled spices and took the whole shelf down with her in a cascade of canned food and creative cussing. 

Talon squawked from atop the fridge, floating down gently to peck at some of the spilled mess on the floor while Tina tried her best not to panic. It wasn’t much different from the messes Mordecai made when he was cooking. Sure, there was a little more on the floor right now, and Mordy tended to keep broken glass OUT of their food, but it was nothing she couldn’t cover up.

“Talon-girly- we’ve got some cleanin’ to do!”

~

“Just call room service,” Brick laughed as Mordecai looked mortified at the broken mirror. 

If it wasn’t bad enough they were drinking non-alcoholic champagne, another insult to injury that he had lost his ability to open the damn bottle, now he had seven years of bad luck to worry about. 

“I don’t need room service, I’ll get it,” he mumbled, setting down the bottle and making his way over to the closet.

“Mordy, honey, relax,” Brick said, grabbing his arm and spinning him around into a hug. “You spend every day cleaning up after me and Tina, let someone else take care of it. I tell you what, go put on your swim trunks, let me call the front desk, and then while they come clean it up we’ll go down to the beach.”

It wasn’t a half bad idea, and so he relented, letting Brick call and explain the mishap- good humored as ever- while he changed into his trunks and an open Hawaiian t-shirt he’d impulse bought at the airport. Pulling sunglasses over his eyes and slipping sandals on his feet, he was able to relax a little more. 

“They’re just going to put it on our card, no worries,” Brick laughed, offering him his arm as Mordecai allowed himself to be led out of their hotel room and down to the beach.

The air was chilly, they were here during off-season after all, but the stars above were a romantic touch as he let his long fingers intertwine with Brick's big ones, their feet leaving a trail of footprints behind them in the sand, not unlike the ones they had once left in the red dirt of Pandora, back before their stories began. Back before Mordecai was happy.

“I can’t thank you enough for this vacation,” he said, leaning into Brick’s shoulder as they walked. It felt nice to focus on his company for once and not his destination. “It’s just too perfect- just like you.”

“It’s about to be more perfect,” Brick said, stopping in front of an empty set of white resort chairs and a circle of soft grey stones. “Remember how we used to sit around the campfire on Pandora and talk about our futures? You want to do that again?”

Mordecai smiled, nodding agreement and gratitude as his husband fumbled with the-

~

Fire. There was fire everywhere!

“It’s not everywhere, just the kitchen!” Tina shouted at Talon, who seemed unbothered by the flames eating away at her parents' kitchen. She had just turned away for a second to get a broom, and maybe she’d gotten a little distracted on the way and watched three episodes of her current favorite Echo Cast, but this was a disproportionate amount of fire for the amount of things they had that could actually catch fire. 

“What do I do?” she asked Talon, pulling at her blonde hair, “I’m used to starting fires, not putting them out!”

Talon sqwaked, unhelpfully, fluttering from his spot above the bookshelf to the empty tray of seeds Mordecai had made her promise she would refill every night.

“Not now, Talon, I’m panicking!” she shouted. She knew Brick kept a fire extinguisher under the sink, she knew this because he used it on her little mishaps in the garage every now and then, but there was just one problem: The sink was on fire. 

Talon sqwaked again, this time knocking over his food tray and glaring angrily at her. 

“Ok, what puts out fires?” Tina asked herself, reaching for her Echo Device. 

Cryo gun? No, Mordecai said no guns in the house.

Water? Ok, but where was she going to get that much water, after all, the sink was ON FIRE!

She continued to scroll through the search results on her Echo Device.

Smother the fire. Now that was an idea. 

Quickly she turned and ran back up the stairs, yanking the blanket off Brick and Mordy’s bed as she trailed it back down the stairs after her. 

Smother the fire. Suffocate the fire. Tell the fire you love it and want it to meet your parents!

Tossing the blanket onto the flames she breathed a heavy sigh of relief as the flames dwindled and then died. 

Crisis averted. 

The blanket was covered in soot stains and some of the sauces she had spilled on the floor earlier, but that was no problem.

She couldn’t remember how much of the soap Brick used to wash their clothes with, but she was willing to bet you would need more for such a big blanket. She poured in half the box, slamming the lid down, and then making her way back into the kitchen.

No problem too big for Tiny Tina!

Talon squawked.

“One problem at a time, bird-brains,” she snapped, slipping on her shoes. Brick would have reminded her to put on a coat, but she wouldn’t be outside for long, she just needed to grab the bin of seeds from the storage shed.

~

Brick’s laughter roared across the empty beach as they walked back to their little room, hand in hand. “You were such a dick!”

“Oh, come on,” Mordecai chuckled, “I wasn’t that bad. You liked it.”

“I liked you,” Brick said, stopping in front of their door. “I knew, from the moment I got on that bus, that I was going to spend the rest of my life with you. And then you opened your mouth and I started to second guess myself.”

“Hey,” Mordecai said, punching him in the arm, “I didn’t say anything bad that first day. I was a perfect gentlemen.”

Brick shook his head, leaning in to brush one of Mordecai’s dreads back behind his ear, “I wish you hadn’t been.”

The low growl sent shivers down Mordecai’s spine as he pressed closer, lacing his fingers around Brick’s neck, pulling him down for an agonizingly slow kiss. For the first time in years there was nothing between them, no worries about being caught, no worries about what others might think, nothing but the moment, wrapping around them like a wind around a flame, stoking their desire into something desperate.

“Mi vida, do you have the room key?”

Brick paused, patting his pockets. 

“I thought you had the room key,” he offered lamely, disappointment dripping from his voice.

“So, you’re telling me we’re-”

~

Tina could not believe she had locked herself out!

She didn’t even remember shutting the door behind her. 

But as she tugged with all her might on the door handle, both feet off the ground and pressed against the door frame, hoping it might budge, she had to face the facts. 

She was an outside cat now.

Talon flapped his wings against the other side of the window; Tina was pretty sure he was taunting her.

“I didn’t mean what I said earlier, you aren’t a bird-brain. You’re a people-brain. What’s smarter than people? An uplifted saurian-brain! Just let me in,” she whined, watching Talon flutter from window to window, his little red eyes conveying supreme displeasure in her choices. 

“It’s fine,” she assured herself, “everything is all gooood. Tina can handle this.”

There was a spare key somewhere, right?

She checked first under Brick’s potted plants on the front porch, then around door frames, looking for anything that might resemble a key. 

An hour later, as she flipped over her sixtieth rock that she thought looked a little like one of those hide-a-key things but turned out to be just another rock, she had to admit defeat.

There was no key, she was starting to get cold, and her Echo Device was still inside so she couldn’t even call for help.

Grumbling to herself she got back up, making her way to the front door where Talon sat, gloriously gloating in the front window.

Squawk!

“Stupid bird,” she growled, taking the rock that was still in her hand and chucking it at his smug little avian face. 

Glass shattered around Talon as he fluttered backwards, making an unholy racket.

Well, that’ll work, Tina thought to herself as she tore off a piece of her skirt to wrap around her hands, climbing through the window to her own house like a bandit.

~

“Not how you pictured your first night on vacation?” Mordecai chuckled as the two dangled their feet in the resort pool, waiting for maintenance to come let them in. 

Brick looked at him incredulously, “When I pictured it we were each wearing a lot less clothes.”

Mordecai laughed, kicking water towards his husband. It wouldn’t be their vacation if something didn’t go wrong somewhere. For some reason this minor setback made him feel a lot more at ease with everything. 

“What do you think Tina’s up to right now?” Brick asked. His whole face was lit up with the blue glow of the pool and Mordecai couldn’t help but think he had never looked more beautiful.

Mordecai could think of a million apocalyptic scenarios that Tina and Talon could be up to right now, but he owed it to Brick to try and be positive.

“I’m sure she’s eating one of those frozen pizzas we left and watching her Echo Shows.”

Brick seemed to relax with that answer. “I’m glad to see you're so calm. I left both our Echos in the room.”

Don’t panic, Mordecai told himself, biting back a rash rush of words he wanted to say to Brick. There was nothing they could do to fix it now.

“Want to go for a swim while we wait?” he asked instead, shrugging out of his shirt and slipping into the water, beckoning for Brick to come join him. The water was cold and caused every bit of his skin to prickle at the temperature shock, making him long for the warm things they were supposed to be doing under the covers right about now. 

He watched Brick wade through the water after him, catching him with a splash and a kiss.

“The stars are really beautiful tonight,” Mordecai commented.

The two looked up to see the stars shining above them, opalescent globes of fragile light floating through the air just above their heads.

Brick paused, reaching out and catching one on his finger, only to watch it pop in a burst of delicate sparkles. “Are those-”

~

Tina had never seen so many bubbles in her life, and Tina liked bubbles.

“What did you do?” she screamed at Talon, following the bird into the kitchen.

Well, the good news was you couldn’t see the mess from dinner anymore. Or where the fire had been.

Bad news: there were only bubbles, there had only ever been bubbles, there were only ever going to be bubbles.

With a sigh, she sunk down onto the floor, content to drown herself in the soap suds. If she had to go, this was the way she wanted it to be; death by bubbles with a bird that smelled vaguely of hot sauce. 

“No, we can’t call Mordy,” she hissed at Talon through the blindingly white field of soap. “And let him know we can’t take care of ourselves? We’ll never hear the end of it!”

Squawk!

“Are you crazy? Calling Brick would be even worse. He’d be all ‘I’m not mad, just disappointed’ and then I’d never be able to look him in the eye again. Think Talon, we have to think! What gets rid of bubbles?”

Squawk!

“But where would we even get a giant leaf blower at this time of night? No, Talon, we’ve got to think smarter. What would Hammy-lock do?”

Squawk!

“You’re right, Talon, bomb-making is a lot like chemistry. Do we have any table salt? No? It got spilled? Well, whose fault is that, huh, Talon?”

Quickly she scrambled onto the counter, climbing over the sea of bubbles to dig through the cabinets for vinegar, salt, and some ice cubes, looking back at the last minute to see Talon trying to eat her Echo Device, one long claw pressing into the 'Call Mom' Button.

~

“I have thirteen missed calls from Tina,” Mordecai said, scrolling through the log of calls, one right after the other. 

“That is slightly higher than usual,” Brick said, pulling his husband against his chest and resting his head on Mordecai’s shoulder. 

Thirteen missed calls and two texts.

The first text said, “hahaHA -butt dial- ignore that last call, and all the others. Talon made those. We’re fine. Ignore those calls. WE ARE FINE.”

The second text was just a close-up selfie of her and Talon. Was he crazy or did her hair look wet? And what was that on Talon’s wings?

“Does it bother you that you can’t see what’s in the background? Like, their faces are so close to the camera?” he asked, holding the device closer to his face for a better look.

“No, because I’m not an uptight dad. I’m the fun one,” Brick answered, kissing at Mordecai’s neck and slowly tugging him back towards the bed. “Seriously, Mordy, don’t call her. She says she’s fine. They’re both clearly still alive. Let me help you forget about it.”

Dodging another one of Brick’s kisses, he ducked out of his husband’s arms, “I’ll be back, I just have to use the bathroom real quick.”

“You’re going to call her, aren’t you?”

“No,” Mordecai insisted defiantly. “I promise.”

“Then leave your phone out here.”

He pretended not to hear Brick and slammed the door.

“I’m not calling her, I promise,” he yelled through the door as he dialed.

~

Tina’s ears rang as she collapsed onto the couch, hugging the ruined blanket to her chest and basking in the surprisingly pleasant smell of soot and soap.

The house was a mess.

Like, 'oh my goddess, how am I ever going to clean this' mess. Between the broken glass from the front window, the sudsy remains of the bubble fiasco, and the burnt food all over the kitchen floor she was pretty sure she could kiss her allowance and free time goodbye as soon as her dads got back. And this was just the first night. What was she going to do for the rest of the week?

Probably die, she decided. She might starve to death before she risked another fire. 

Hey, at least they couldn’t ground her if she was dead.

And now her ears were ringing.

No, wait, that was the doorbell.

With a heavy sigh she got to her feet, trudging over to the door. It was probably her dads. She had probably ruined their whole honeymoon with those thirteen missed calls and now they were home early to be understanding and disappointed. She wished they’d kill her instead.

“Tina, it’s cold out here!” she heard Lilith call as the doorbell rang again.

“Lilly? What are you doing here?” She asked, yanking open the door with relief as she watched the siren’s eyes take in the mess of a house behind her.

“Your dad called,” she said, distracted as she pushed inside, surveying the mess. “Three guesses which one.”

“Thank God you’re here. We have to fix this,” Tina said, he voice dropping to a whisper. “They can never knooooooow.”

Lilith laughed. “Go upstairs and take a shower, I’ll get started cleaning.”

Tina nodded, trudging over to the stairs. She paused to listen as Lilith spoke into her Echo Device. “She’s fine Mordy. So is Talon. And the house. Yes, I’ll stay with her, but I don’t need to, she’s doing great. Yes. Yes! Now go enjoy your honeymoon, dumbass. You’re welcome.”

Tina smiled to herself. “Thanks Lilly,” she whispered.

“Eh, what your dads don’t know won't kill you,” Lilith laughed.


End file.
